Prof. Thamizharasan PhD
Decidophobia is defined as the “irrational fear of making decisions.” In its most extreme form, those who have this fear may experience full blown panic attacks when even thinking about having to make a decision. Struggling to make choices about everyday activities such as picking a movie, choosing a restaurant, selecting an outfit or book to read can be more than just a simple concern.
This experience shouldn’t be overlooked as it can be a sign of deeper indecisiveness. For many, the process of decision-making may lead to stress and anxiety. This struggle is sometimes linked to a condition called decidophobia, where individuals feel an overwhelming and irrational fear of making decisions.
The term decidophobia was introduced by Walter Kaufmann, a Harvard professor and philosopher, in his 1973 book, Without Guilt and Justice: From Decidophobia to Autonomy.
In this book, Kaufmann describes decidophobia as “the dread of making fateful decisions.” Today modern psychology describes it as a form of specific phobia, characterised by intense and irrational fear associated with particular choices or situations.
Let’s take a deeper look at decidophobia, its symptoms and treatment.
Symptoms of Decidophobia:
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Muscle tension and excessive sweating
- Increased dependence on others for decision-making
- You think you’re psychic
- Inability to cope with the anxiety around making decisions
What Causes the Fear of Making Decisions?
If you are someone who feels like they have a fear of making decisions, you’re probably wondering why you have this phobia. While there is no exact cause, experts have speculated that it may have stemmed from a traumatic event.
Additionally, if one suffers a traumatic event that is emotionally painful and has a genetic predisposition to developing a mental illness, it could exacerbate the situation.
Decisions may be confusing or scary to cope with given a painful event during childhood. This is especially true if the decision at hand makes you feel powerless or like you may lack control.
Additionally, decisions may seem grander if:
1. Significant others will be affected by the choice
2. Money plays a role
3. There’s a fear of missing out (FOMO)
4. You lack trust in the situation
5. The decision will involve more work
6. There’s peer pressure
Procrastination: You tend to delay decisions due to the fear of making a wrong choice, opting to live with uncertainty instead.
Not Trusting Your Instincts: Rather than trusting your instincts, you seek information or opinions, often leading to confusion and feeling overwhelmed.
Impact On Relationships: Your indecision places pressure on your loved ones to make significant choices, causing strain and misunderstandings within your relationships.
Reliance On Others: You frequently allow others to make decisions for you, which may attract manipulative or authoritarian personalities into your life and hinder your independence.
Exaggerated Consequences: You often exaggerate small decisions out of proportion. This can in turn create unnecessary pressure on you to make the “perfect” choice every time.
Treatment Of Decidophobia
The Side Effects of Fear of Making Decisions
Fearing making a decision will impact your life and relationships.
Some of the negative consequences associated with this phobia include:
- Missing out on relationships
- Losing an opportunity for promotion at work
- Lack of travel experiences
- Money issues because you can’t decide what to invest in or how much to save
These outcomes have a dramatic impact on one’s quality of life. As such, it’s important to take steps to overcome decidophobia.
Tips to Help You Cope with Decidophobia
If you are suffering from decidophobia, or know someone who does, here are some methods to try to overcome the fear of making decisions, or the fear of doing something wrong:
1. Take Actionable Decisions:
It’s okay to acknowledge that making a decision is scary. But, in order to “break the chains,” you just have to go for it and face the fear by making a choice.
Try The Decision-Making Quadrant: Use a matrix (diagram) like the one below to categorize your decisions by: urgent/not urgent and important/not important.
2. Reduce the Number Of Decisions:
One of the best ways to overcome the fear of making decisions is to set yourself up to make less of them on a daily basis. For example, you can do this by creating a meal plan and sticking to it or by wearing the same basic clothes everyday (this is something Steve Jobs did so he could use his brain power on bigger decisions).
3. Be Curious:
Take small steps towards choosing. You can do this by asking yourself the following questions, “What’s the worst outcome that is possible?” “What is the likelihood this will occur?” “What if things work out in my favor?”
4. Shift Your Point of View:
Try to imagine facing the choice as someone else other than yourself. You can do this by asking yourself, “What would X do?” Then, you can try to step outside of yourself to see the situation at hand and evaluate your next step.
5. Empower Yourself
After asking yourself the best- and worst-case outcomes, consider that the worst-case outcome may happen. But then remind yourself that you can and you will overcome it. In fact, the possibility of a negative outcome can also offer an opportunity for growth. By shifting your mindset towards positivity, you can train yourself to manage any challenge.
6. Know Your Why:
By setting your three main goals, or priorities, you can always start with the decisions that help to achieve these. As such, you will be able to attack the decisions that are more important first. If you ask yourself, “Will this help me achieve that?” and the answer is “no” or “not at this time,” let that decision wait and address a priority instead.
7. See Both Sides of Risk:
In most cases, when a choice seems risky or scary, it’s because the negative consequence is at the forefront of your mind. But be sure to consider the opposite side of the coin, as in what will happen if you don’t take the action? This could be equally or worse than making a choice that seems scary in the first place.
8. Learn from Mistakes:
So, you made a mistake once, twice or multiple times that felt “wrong.” You learned this because you took the action and had to deal with a less-than-optimal outcome. But consider this as a lesson because now you are more informed for the next time you make a similar decision. This will only happen with practice, mistakes, and learning from it all.
9. Breathe and Breathing Therapy:
When you have panic attacks or anxiety, the number one antidote is to be able to regain control of your breathing. You should practice coming back to your breath by focusing on the way your chest and abdomen rise and fall with your inhale and exhale. You can count your breaths and match your inhales to your exhales to regain control.
10. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy:
For some people, seeking professional help is a good way to overcome decidophobia. A therapist may work through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with you to uncover the underlying reasons why you suffer from decidophobia. Then they will offer methods to overcome these feelings.
11. Ask for Help:
You should always remember that you have support when you make decisions. Whether you opt to ask a friend, a family member, an academic advisor, a mentor, a boss or someone else in your circle, there are people who want to see you succeed. As such, they will offer support in your time of need.
12. Listen to Your Gut:
In many instances, your gut has the right answer before you even have had the time to think about choices. You should listen to your gut and trust it because these gut feelings stem from instinct.
13. Worry Less About Failing:
Try to remind yourself that the outcome isn’t the only thing that matters. If you fail, you can try again. Most choices aren’t permanent anyways and there are ways to correct for mistakes.
14. Practice Yoga and Mindfulness:
Another way to overcome general anxiety and relieve stress is to exercise, or practice yoga and mindfulness. Yoga is both a mental and physical exercise that can help you focus on being present, like mindfulness. When you are present, you are more able to see clearly and focus on what’s in front of you in the here and now. This can help you lessen your anxiety and fear of the future or failure.
Important Reminders
It’s useful to remember that fear is an emotion. It’s an emotion that stems from a perceived threat. If you are able to train your mind to accept how you feel, accept that there’s generally not a clear “wrong” or “right” way to go, and that your intuition may even rely on fear for growth, then you can become more at peace with the decision-making process.
Another technique is to aim for mediocre when you can, rather than shooting for the optimal outcome. Employing a technique of “satisficing,” or aiming for satisfactory results, can allow you to choose solutions and avoid overthinking or experiencing regret.
The Different Levels of Decision-Makers
In the face of decisions, your body naturally enters a state of fight, flight or freeze.
Here are the different levels of decision-making you may experience as you work your way towards becoming a Level 5 decision-maker!
Level 1 – Freeze
In some cases, the fear of decision-making is so overwhelming that it actually causes paralysis. This level is when someone feels so scared and numb that they will avoid the decision in its entirety.
Level 2 – Passive Pleasing
The person who chooses instead to please others rather than themselves internalizes their feelings. This may be okay on the outside, but ultimately, they are building feelings of anger and resentment inside. As such, it’s only a matter of time before they will explode.
Level 3 – Sitting in the Middle
Some people may resort to staying in the middle of choices. For example, if someone is asking them to choose to vote liberal or conservative, they may just wade in the middle. For the short-term, this could work. But, when it comes to office politics or life decisions, a more assertive person will take over and force their course in one way or the other unless the person in the middle decides to speak up.
Level 4 – Assertive Action
When you know your beliefs and where you stand, you can speak your mind. Although speaking up may affect others at times, it generally leads in the right direction because good choices breed good outcomes. These are the people who take the lead and make decisions on behalf of those who prefer to sit back.
Level 5 – Energetic and Enthusiastic
When someone reaches this level, they are sure of what they want and who they are. They feel empowered, make decisions that align with their purpose, and can even be motivational to those around them to take part in active and enthusiastic decision-making.
